Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sour Grapes

Sometimes it happens: worlds collide.  So, when I blogged, ostensibly about Mean Girls and how cliques should be left in high school where they belong over here, it ended up being more about the Fitzgerald PTO than I had intended, so I'll follow up here, as the PTO Mom.

@WalthamMom commented on the post at The Raving Review to let me know what Fitzgerald parents REALLY think about the parents who volunteer at the school.  "Tongues are wagging," she wrote.  And said that it's "telling" that the "leader of the pack" (and I think that she meant me) doesn't know that there's a clique.  And then: other parents refer to me and "my girls" as the "Mamma Mafia."

That's rich.  I probably should spend my time and energy working out a way to extort the good residents of the Fitzgerald community and to see about getting anyone who doesn't agree with me whacked.  Kind of like this mom.  Or this lovely couple. Now THAT's a Mafia!  Clearly, I'm not measuring up to expectations.

In the next paragraph, @WalthamMom admonished me, saying it's "ALL ABOUT THE KIDS."  Right.  Because I put so much effort into things like Field Day, and the Halloween Party, and Holiday Shopping, and Talent Show, and the Musical, and the 501c3 status, and Movie Nights, and all the rest for my damn self.

Are @WalthamMom and her friends entitled to their own opinions?  Of course they are.  It was great to find out now, though, after volunteering at the Fitz for six years (and this year taking on the 5th Grade end-of-year activities) that there are people who feel this way.  And some of these parents consider themselves 'friendly' enough with me to connect with me on Facebook.  Of course, @WalthamMom feels strongly enough to comment and to call me names (and then to pay me a compliment at the end of her comment), and not strongly enough to use her real name or to respond to my questions to her when I ask how, exactly, I've excluded any parents.

I left cliques and purposeful exclusion behind long ago because I know how hurtful they can be and because they don't accomplish anything.  I look forward to letting my kids know that, once they make it through the mean years of Middle and High School, that they won't have to worry about cliques anymore, either.  It's very disheartening to learn that that's not true.  Thanks, @WalthamMom and your posse, for that lesson.


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  2. No lessons can be taught by people who characterize others by name calling. There will always be people who feel left out when anything moves forward without their control. "Oops, sorry, please let us know who you are and what role you would like to play." Smother 'em with love. It may not change them in any way but you'll be happier for it. It's better than setting up an opposing fort. Life's too short.